See that adorable blue flower snuggled up with the fern? It’s a Spanish bluebell, and I just yanked it.
Don’t get me wrong–Spanish bluebells are lovely, and I’ve certainly enjoyed seeing them out and about in the world. In a bouquet, they smell fresh and delightful. I love to watch the color seep out of them, the purpley-blue fading from top to bottom like the original ombre fashion. They are undemanding, charming flowers that also like to eat up garden space.
Yesterday, I cleared out a few to make space for another plant. The ground was hard-packed with bluebell bulbs, leaving no room for any other plant roots. While deep-rooted plants might have found a way to get what they need, other plants were just crowded right out of the picture.
Plus, the bluebell’s thick, juicy leaves can cover over smaller plants and steal all their sunshine. While I wasn’t paying attention, the bluebells in one of my flower beds smothered the grape hyacinths, who not only missed their chance to bloom, but have turned yellow. I feel like a jerk for letting that happen.
Those Spanish bluebells are a pretty good metaphor for the self-doubts that can crop up in our lives and smother our creativity. Last year, I spent many months half-buried under my own mental bluebells. As a writer, it’s really easy to judge my self-worth by the achievements of my work. Every bad review was a Spanish bluebell popping up in the garden of my mind; every book and story idea that didn’t stick was like another.
It was a bad time for me, but I got lucky: my October poetry challenge reminded me how much I loved working with words. It got me writing again in new ways. My poetry helped me get motivated to pull my mental weeds and make space for new projects.
Fran Wilde had a great post the other day about the kinds of bad feelings that can overwhelm a writer’s mind. I definitely recommend checking it out. It’s important to know what kinds of monsters and invasive plants might be trying to take over your mental garden. Remember: brains need care and maintenance, just like plants!
From Hepzibah’s Garden